The Colbert Report/Episode/567
Production Info |- |} |- |} Intro SEGMENT1 * Dr. Colbert greeted the troops a la Bob Hope ** behind a ribbon mike and holding a golf club * Iraq, the country so nice, we invaded it twice * Iraq is so hot that when Saddam Hussein got to hell, he asked for a blanket * Al Faw, the Water Palace, because that's the only drink you can get ** no alcohol * reminds him of The Real Housewives of New Jersey Colbert Report Baghdad Shout-Out * The Greatest Maverick Ever gave a videotaped shout out to the troops ** he reminded the troops a lesson he learned when he was in Valley Forge: never forget SEGMENT2 * old white men v old latina women * old lady who keeps firing rockets into the Pacific Ocean * Jon & Kate + 130,000 * his doctor said he * cook a microwave burrito in his pants * Tonight's Word Why Are You Here? * eliminated wmd * ended Saddam's rule * allowed Iraq's to write their own constitution * turned chaos into triumph * Why isn't it over ** the rules says it's not over until someone declares victory * they are in Camp Victory * generals haven't declared victory yet * someone should declare victory * Stephen officially declare we won the Iraq war Stephen Strong: Army Of Me * Dr. Colbert respect military men and women ** he went to basic training (all 10 hours of it) * Stephen Strong: Army Of Me * just like any other recruit * Fort Jackson, South Carolina * emptying Stephen's bag, the Drill Sergeant found: ** exfoliating loufa ** Jonas Brothers poster * Drill Sergeant made Stephen do 10 push-ups * he made the mistake of quoting "An Officer and a Gentleman" * tomorrow the journey continues ... Interview * General Ray Odierno ** comanding general of multi-national force in Iraq *** better be able to clap and salute at the same time * Stephen is intimidated ** feels like he is interviewing Shrek * he says they're not ready to declare victory * more work to do with the government of Iraq * Stephen thought we won, because he hadn't heard anything on the news * what's happening in Iraq that people at home need to know ** long-term stability ** positive stories ** progress * doesn't think that Stephen's basic training was not realistic * he said Stephen had hair, which needed to be cut ** and insisted he get it cut * President Hussein Obama appeared on the big screen ** Stephen thanked him ** the satellites are not that big, but his ears are * Obama agreed with the General, then ordered him to cut Stephen's hair * Stephen cut to commercial just as the general carved into America's Greatest Luscious Head Of Hair Ever Epilogue * Dr. Colbert came back sitting in the middle of the audience with his freshly shorn head to thank the USO and General Odierno Gallery File:OIS-GCLogo.png File: File: File: File: File: File:StephenStrong.jpg File: File: File: Official Truthy Videos * Colbert Nation Home Tube External Tubes *Link Title *Link Title Reviews and Comments